I am committed to supporting others to see conflict as working material that can be utilized to bring about solutions both in personal relationships and teams.
Avoidantly coded people – are very protective of their autonomy. They do not like being micromanaged as it communicates inferiority and triggers their sense of inadequacy. They will shut down and withdraw if they feel like they are being pursued. Being relationally “close” to others feels threatening and is only safe when initiated by them. They are high achievers and are self-directed - can often present as “lone rangers” in the workplace. This can be off-putting and intimidating to colleagues. They require limited oversight and appreciate affirming check-ins occasionally. Though less demanding of attention, they can also feel exempted from accountability.
Anxiously coded people – are highly sensitive to relational stressors. They pursue connection at all costs. It is exhausting to them and others. The fear of disconnect is felt in their bodies in a distressing way and is not just an annoying trait they want to live with. Trying to establish a connection with others can appear needy, but it is their impulsive effort to escape the pain of separation. They require constant check-ins to feel that all is well. Their sensitivity can help them recognize others on the team that feels disconnected.
Securely coded people – can manage their emotions, are confident in exploring and taking risks, are emotionally aware and responsive, and are conflict busters and collaborators. They intuitively engage with anxious, avoidant, and disorganized people in their relational codes. They are the invisible and the visible team builders and are often the stabilizers in team constructs.
Disorganized coded people – have experienced significant trauma in their early life. The sense that relationships are unsafe is deeply embedded in their attachment system. Any form of relational exposure triggers a defense strategy to isolate and become invisible. Their tendency to detach and be loners is not an invitation for others to come close. They work best independently in siloed tasks and separate from others because their sense of self is fractured. Their feeling of unworthiness and self- loathing is their way of rejecting themselves before they experience the pain of rejection in real-time. They prefer no contact.
I am committed to supporting others to see conflict as working material that can be utilized to bring about solutions both in personal relationships and teams. With over 34 years of combined experience in dealing with human complexities, I use evidence-based techniques to assist individuals to understand themselves and others in the context of their environment. My business, leadership and mediation training come together with my accomplishment in the field of clinical psychology to offer a powerful solution-based package for corporate teams.
Extensive training in conflict resolution and my deep understanding of the human psyche allow me to identify the injury and conflict spots in individual and corporate relationships. I work with leaders, managers and employees, supporting them to become self-attuned so they are able to cultivate safe and trusting relationships in the workplace by addressing relational injuries and establishing tailored formulas for reconnection.
